Nero Needs To Stop His Overreactioning: DuroSport Is Too Big For The Failing

Hello Again DuroSport Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of DuroSport Electronic Company.

Long time with no hearing, because I am having been trying to saving the DuroSport Electronics Company. While Nero is overreactioning with pessimistic work stoppages, and suspicious firings in The Second Life, I am on the aeroplanes to Moldolva at working to getting more money from the Moldolvan Governing Economic Financement Overlord Body.

My arguing is very simplistic: DuroSport is too big for the failing.

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The DuroStore Has Burned To The Ground!

I am very sad to report that The DuroStore in The Second Life was The Scene of a major explosion yesterday. Apparently our deuterium tritium charging station overheated and blew up. Naturally there was a BIG fire. The Building was totally engulfed in The Flames and is a complete and total loss.

I cannot tell you how unhappy this development makes me. That building was my home away from home and I loved it like a brother. A real brother, not a step brother.

I am sure you will have many questions about The Incident. First of all, I must tell you that The Explosion of our deuterium tritium charging station was what we call “an isolated occurrence”. In The First Life our charging stations rarely explode, and when they do the fire is usually MUCH smaller.

Also, some of you may be wondering where you can purchase a virtual Prism DuroSport. Sadly, The Answer is nowhere. They are no longer for sale. If you were lucky enough to buy one you now own A Collectible.

In my last post I mentioned that we were planning to close The DuroStore as a cost cutting measure. Next week we were set to announce our big Going Out Of Business in The Second Life Sale. In fact, I have already ordered The Signs.

I want to assure all of you that this fire was in no way related to The Insurance. Of course, we will be filing a claim for the loss of The Building. We have paid our premiums, why not use the policy now that we need it?

While you are crying about the DuroStore I might as well break even more bad news to you. Otto the Durosport Security Robot was also killed by the fire. All of us here at the DuroSport headquarters send our regards to Otto’s family.

The video below was reconstructed from various surveillance cameras that were watching the store 24 and 7. Please say goodbye to our fine store while it burns down.

How DuroSport Is Preparing For the Global Recession

As you may have heard, there are problems in The World. There is some sort of Global Financial Crisis (not my fault) and the market is in The Crater. As a result, we are having to make many hard decisions about the future here at DuroSport.

Earlier this week I attended an emergency meeting of the DuroSport Board of The Directors. At this meeting I was informed of just how serious The Situation is. Apparently we have a case of The Cash Crunch. Now we are having to make changes to the way we do business.

What does this mean for you the loyal DuroSport consumer? I will tell you.

Effective immediately we are suspending all work that is not directly related to our “core competencies”.

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How DuroSport Is Winning $300 Million From John McCain

Hello Again DuroSport Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of DuroSport Electronic Company.

Here I am, with a new announcing: DuroSport is winning $300 million dollars from U.S. Senator John McCain for Best Car Battery: the DuroSport Utility Deutrium-Tritium Batterizer 8002.

This is our promising: our battery is keeping your car on the run for up to 1 Full Year in a single charging! This will making us winning. Very excitement!

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Why Vladimir Concescu is Endorsing Barack Obama!

Hello Again, DuroSports Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of the DuroSports Electronic Company.

Having been very gone from these blogger shores for quite some timing, I am owning an explanation to many of the fans of our company and producings. I was in studyment since my returning from Moldovan Prisonerness, and am readying to be working on great DuroSport Products (have you heard rumourings of DuroPhone?) sooner. Sooner!

First offering, however, is that today, February 29, 2008 is my birthing day. I am 32 years younger, now, ha ha! Happy birthing day to me! Happy birthing day to me! Nero is not remembering, of course, so partying at DuroSport office is minimized today.

Today is also 20th anniversary of my workings at DuroSport Electronics. I was in conscription on my 12th birthing day from DuroSport Militia to the workings in original DuroSport factory in Moldova. Now I am here in America, and have announcing of very importance. Importance!!

My studyment is over now, because I, Vladimir Concescu, am now a U.S. Citizenry! In additional, I am in voting for U.S. President! President!

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