Prism DuroSport Insider Blog

A look behind the scenes at the DuroSport Electronics Corporation

April 1, 2009

DuroSport Is Back in the Electronic Book Business


Written by
Nero

Some of our older customers will remember that many years ago DuroSport created special software for reading electronic books on the Tandy computer system. As with all of the things we do here at DuroSport, our book reader was revolutionary at the time. Unfortunately, we were forced to discontinue the product as many people around the world moved to inferior computing systems like the Apple, the DEC Rainbow, and even the DOS.

Even though it has been many years since we made this book reading software, I still think about electronic books every day. It is probably because I have a bookshelf full of electronic books on floppy disk in my office. I keep hoping that some day the electronic books will come back and be popular again. It is starting to look like that might happen soon.

In the past year we have noticed many companies have begun manufacturing “electronic book reading machines”. Most of these machines are laughably small and have inferior screens that are difficult to read. It is certainly not like reading a book on the Tandy.

Still, these machines have caused us to think that now might be a good time to get back into the electronic book business.

Normally our engineers would simply design a new DuroSport product that would crush the competition. This is easy to do because our machines are always much larger and heavier than the competition.

Unfortunately the electronic book business is much more complicated than other areas of the electronics industry.

First, there are many different electronic book formats and no one can seem to agree on which one is best. Personally I am betting on DTML (DuroSport Text Markup Language). Unfortunately the DTML is still in the development phase and will not be ready to go for a little while.

There is also a problem with the stories. What will the people read on these electronic book reading machines? We cannot write the books ourselves. That is a job for bohemians.

All of these things will take time to sort out, but we cannot wait. As our Chairman said during the recent board meeting, companies like The Amazon and Sony are eating our lunch. We cannot allow that. We should be eating our own lunch.

After doing some very time consuming and tedious market research we have finally arrived at a solution. Our research has shown that 85% of consumers are not interested in electronic books. It is because 14% of the people we surveyed have never even heard of electronic books and 71% of the people we surveyed said that they do not like the way electronic books smell.

Actually, I believe that it is probably because they like the way paper books smell. Either way, it does not matter. Our new product will solve this problem once and for all.

Today DuroSport is releasing the Smell of Books in a can! It is an aerosol spray that you can apply as you would a deodorant, except that you spray it on the electronic book, and not under your arms (although you can do that too, but then you will smell like a book).

Our Smell of Books is compatible with every electronic book format and every brand of book reading machine. What is even better is that the Smell of Books is available in five flavors.

You can learn all about the Smell of Books product at our new website.

4 comments for this post.

  1. Comment from Vladimir on April 1st, 2009 :

    Nero, I am outrageous at you!! I am the Chief Product Engineer of the DuroSport Corporation, not you! I am in the Sex Rehab for two months and you author a product in that timespan? For shame over you, Nero! For shame.

  2. Comment from Nero on April 1st, 2009 :

    Vladimir. There is no need for airing our dirty laundry in The Public Blog. That is what The Intranet is for. We cannot sit around and wait for you to get out of rehab to create new products. It is our fiscal new year and we must release something.

  3. Pingback from Who Is the Authors Guild and Why Don’t They Want You to Smell Your Electronic Books? : Prism DuroSport Insider Blog on April 1st, 2009 :

    [...] today I was very excited to tell all of you about our new Smell of Books product, but now it seems that we have a small problem. An organization calling itself “The Authors [...]

  4. Comment from Shane Alexander on December 6th, 2009 :

    Fantastic! Can’t wait to see it…