How DuroSport Is Preparing For the Global Recession

As you may have heard, there are problems in The World. There is some sort of Global Financial Crisis (not my fault) and the market is in The Crater. As a result, we are having to make many hard decisions about the future here at DuroSport.

Earlier this week I attended an emergency meeting of the DuroSport Board of The Directors. At this meeting I was informed of just how serious The Situation is. Apparently we have a case of The Cash Crunch. Now we are having to make changes to the way we do business.

What does this mean for you the loyal DuroSport consumer? I will tell you.

Effective immediately we are suspending all work that is not directly related to our “core competencies”.

This means:

  • All new product development is now on hold
  • All advertising and marketing campaigns are being suspended
  • All research projects are cancelled
  • Sales of our products are being suspended indefinitely — we cannot afford the shipping to send The Boxes to The Retail stores

So, what are our “core competencies”? That is a good question. There are many things we are good at here at DuroSport.

  • Accounting. We have always been good at this and we will continue to count things while The Economy is bad.
  • Accepting return merchandise. We lead the industry in this area. Also, our customers pay for the return shipping, so this is much more affordable than sending products to The Consumers.
  • Angry correspondence. Both sending and receiving. Postage is still reasonably affordable, and we are happy to send angry emails to our customers and local politicians. Those are practically free.

There are many more things that we are good at, but I will not bore you with a very long list. Basically, we are very good at anything that does not involve making a product or selling it.

Needless to say, there will be no Pütz for The Christmas again this year. While that may seem like very sad news, there is even sadder news.

We will soon be closing our Second Life DuroStore.

You can not imagine how painful it is for me to make that announcement. I have loved our Second Life DuroStore like I have never loved any virtual retail department store (and I have loved many).

It is very fortunate that I completed night school this past summer and earned my diploma. I have a feeling I may be in The Job Market soon.

Also, I am writing a book. More on that soon.