Nero Needs To Stop His Overreactioning: DuroSport Is Too Big For The Failing

Hello Again DuroSport Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of DuroSport Electronic Company.

Long time with no hearing, because I am having been trying to saving the DuroSport Electronics Company. While Nero is overreactioning with pessimistic work stoppages, and suspicious firings in The Second Life, I am on the aeroplanes to Moldolva at working to getting more money from the Moldolvan Governing Economic Financement Overlord Body.

My arguing is very simplistic: DuroSport is too big for the failing.

Continue reading Nero Needs To Stop His Overreactioning: DuroSport Is Too Big For The Failing

The DuroStore Has Burned To The Ground!

I am very sad to report that The DuroStore in The Second Life was The Scene of a major explosion yesterday. Apparently our deuterium tritium charging station overheated and blew up. Naturally there was a BIG fire. The Building was totally engulfed in The Flames and is a complete and total loss.

I cannot tell you how unhappy this development makes me. That building was my home away from home and I loved it like a brother. A real brother, not a step brother.

I am sure you will have many questions about The Incident. First of all, I must tell you that The Explosion of our deuterium tritium charging station was what we call “an isolated occurrence”. In The First Life our charging stations rarely explode, and when they do the fire is usually MUCH smaller.

Also, some of you may be wondering where you can purchase a virtual Prism DuroSport. Sadly, The Answer is nowhere. They are no longer for sale. If you were lucky enough to buy one you now own A Collectible.

In my last post I mentioned that we were planning to close The DuroStore as a cost cutting measure. Next week we were set to announce our big Going Out Of Business in The Second Life Sale. In fact, I have already ordered The Signs.

I want to assure all of you that this fire was in no way related to The Insurance. Of course, we will be filing a claim for the loss of The Building. We have paid our premiums, why not use the policy now that we need it?

While you are crying about the DuroStore I might as well break even more bad news to you. Otto the Durosport Security Robot was also killed by the fire. All of us here at the DuroSport headquarters send our regards to Otto’s family.

The video below was reconstructed from various surveillance cameras that were watching the store 24 and 7. Please say goodbye to our fine store while it burns down.

How DuroSport Is Winning $300 Million From John McCain

Hello Again DuroSport Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of DuroSport Electronic Company.

Here I am, with a new announcing: DuroSport is winning $300 million dollars from U.S. Senator John McCain for Best Car Battery: the DuroSport Utility Deutrium-Tritium Batterizer 8002.

This is our promising: our battery is keeping your car on the run for up to 1 Full Year in a single charging! This will making us winning. Very excitement!

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Why Vladimir Concescu is Endorsing Barack Obama!

Hello Again, DuroSports Fans,

I am me, Vladimir Concescu, Chief Product Engineer of the DuroSports Electronic Company.

Having been very gone from these blogger shores for quite some timing, I am owning an explanation to many of the fans of our company and producings. I was in studyment since my returning from Moldovan Prisonerness, and am readying to be working on great DuroSport Products (have you heard rumourings of DuroPhone?) sooner. Sooner!

First offering, however, is that today, February 29, 2008 is my birthing day. I am 32 years younger, now, ha ha! Happy birthing day to me! Happy birthing day to me! Nero is not remembering, of course, so partying at DuroSport office is minimized today.

Today is also 20th anniversary of my workings at DuroSport Electronics. I was in conscription on my 12th birthing day from DuroSport Militia to the workings in original DuroSport factory in Moldova. Now I am here in America, and have announcing of very importance. Importance!!

My studyment is over now, because I, Vladimir Concescu, am now a U.S. Citizenry! In additional, I am in voting for U.S. President! President!

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The 4-Hour Workweek Is Ruining Our Company

The Christmas is right around the corner and I am sorry to say that there is almost no chance that our Pütz media player will be released in time for the holiday. It breaks my heart to admit this, but it is the sad reality of our situation. Please start preparing your children now. There will be no Pütz in their stockings on Christmas morning. I blame it all on a man named Mr. Timothy Ferriss and his stupid book The 4-Hour Workweek.

After our last setback I knew that it would be a difficult challenge meeting the manufacturing deadline for the busy holiday season. Unfortunately we have made ABSOLUTELY NO PROGRESS in the last two months. How is that possible? I will tell you.

Shortly after returning from his stay in the Moldovan prison, Vladimir started behaving strangely (strange even for him). He refused to read any of the memos or product documents that had been written in his absence. So, I asked Vladimir how he planed to develop the new product without reading any of the specifications, and he says to me “I am going on a low information diet”.

That was not even an answer to my question. And what in the hell is a Low Information Diet?

Then Vladimir started refusing to attend our weekly meetings. He said that our meetings were a waste of time and started ranting about some Italian named Pareto.

Meanwhile, I could not help but notice that he does not consider The MySpace a waste of time, as he is still spending most of his day “chatting with the cuties” (his words, not mine).

There is no talking with Vladimir when he gets like this, so I sent him an email. And then I did not hear anything for a week. Finally, the following Monday morning he replies “Thank you for contacting the Vladimir Concescu with problems you have. My virtual assistant will be in contacting you with shortly”.

Virtual assistant?! The man does almost no work, why does he need an assistant?

Later that day I got a call on The Skype. It was from some lady in Bangalore. She told me that Vladimir had assigned my case to her and that she would be helping me resolve my problem. I will say that she was very polite, and her English was much better than Vladimir’s. But still, this is no way to do business.

Finally I cornered Vladimir at the coffee machine (if he is not on The MySpace or in the restroom, he is at the coffee machine). That is when he told me about his “muse”. He explained that he is starting a dating service with his girlfriends on The MySpace.

I asked him, what kind of muse is a MySpace dating service?!

Then he explains that he will need the income when he is on his “mini-retirement”.

Mini-retirement? He just spent three months lounging around the Moldovan prison racking up data access charges. And now his is retiring?

Then he hands me The 4-hour Workweek book and says, “I am going to escape 9-5, live anywhere, and join the new rich”. I was a little surprised by that, but then I noticed that it says those exact words on the cover. Vladimir is very impressionable.

So, the reason why there will be no Pütz for Christmas is because Vladimir read this stupid book.

Worse yet, the book has been making the rounds at The DuroSport headquarters. Now Otto in security is wanting to negotiate his schedule so he can work from home. I am sorry, I may be old fashioned, but security guard is not a job that can be done from home!

Mr. Timothy Ferris is the worst kind of moron. His stupid book is destroying our company. He is the enemy of capitalism! I came to America to get away from people like him.

Please Mr. Ferris, take your next mini-retirement in Romania and do not write any more books.